The People Pleasers Guide To Say Fuck You In A Nice Way

The People Pleasers Guide To Say Fuck You In A Nice Way

There are times in life where you just want to tell someone where to go and stick it, me being an Aussie and partial to throwing a few swear words around. Telling someone to go and get fucked might seem like an easy task. Yet in reality, after years of not wanting to offend or upset others, I’ve bit my tongue far too long. 

Luckily these days, I’ve done an epic amount of work to stand up for myself and say it how it is. So for those of you who totally understand what it’s like to battle the internal dialogue that desperately wants to tell someone to go and get fucked, yet not upset them, let’s get clear on a few things. 

Firstly,  I’m not one to be a total dick to other people nor am I one to swear at people often. I’m all about context. There can be a time and a place to say a big ol’ fuck you. 

Secondly, for us people-pleasers saying fuck you is pretty much saying no or standing up for ourselves. In our tool bag we have already come up with a bag of resources, I’m sure, on how to avoid situations. You know, the excuses, justifications or endless jibberish that comes out of your mouth, you know the one. We have tactics to handle situations. 

However, when it comes to standing up for ourselves it feels guilty as fuck. That is why it’s so important to remember we are worth it, we have a voice and our point of view matters. When we finally let go of what other people think it gives us a chance to speak up. We are no longer plagued by the what if’s. 

What I’m hoping to share with you today is a few examples of ways you can stretch yourself, expand in challenging situations and say helz no or you’ve got to be kidding to someone in a way that feels true to you. 


Before we go too much further – I have to share that each person and situation is unique and it requires your best judgment. These are just a few examples of where we might want to tell someone off or stand up for ourselves and handle the situation with a little grace. 

For the people who are being unreasonable: Some people are just stubborn, they insist that things need to be done their way and you need to play along. If you have played along for a while, standing up for yourself here is what is being called of you.  You need to muster up all the courage you have and shoot back a counter solution to try and negotiate an outcome that will work for everyone. If they simply won’t budge, then sign off your point with a “just saying” at the end. For some reason, it confirms your point of view while emphasizing it.  Usually, it pricks up the other person’s ears because there is a slight drop of sarcasm there.  Hello, did I get your attention…

For the people who won’t take No as an answer: These people love to push the boundaries they will wear you down until you cave in. The best remedy for these people is a taste of their own medicine – it’s called repetition my friend.  Your response could be “I can’t, not today” yet when they give it another crack all you need to do is just repeat your answer over and over until they get it – and why can’t you do it today? because I can’t. Want more alternatives on how to say no – read my blog on how to say now without the guilt.

For the people that piss you off in general: Honestly, we are not made to like everyone, yes we can get along but it doesn’t mean we need to be BFF’s. Some people just get under our skin, they do dumbshit (well according to our expectations on life) and when those people really rub us the wrong way – it’s time to let them know – “Don’t take this personally, but….” 

For the people that are simply mean, cruel and bitchy: This one hurts and it reminds me of my high school days. Even in adulthood I’ve encountered some pretty special humans and in most cases, I flick them the ol’ “whatever”. I’m not sure if it is something I picked up from 90’s teen movies like Clueless but it’s almost as if I flick my hand when I say it to then walk off. Because I honestly don’t need their shit, I have enough in my head already!

For the people who are trying to prove a point: Love these people, they usually can also talk underwater. The best remedy for them is dropping a little sarcasm and a big ol’ fuck you to them is to lay down the line “In my opinion …. {insert your point of view}! Ha, take that know-it-all

These are just a few example situations where one might need to pull out a nicer way to get a point across. Remember each situation and person is different and that means we must adapt to cater to it, and use our best judgment.  Got another scenario to add to the list – leave me a comment below and let’s grow this list longer. 





Discover your People Pleaser Archetype


Take this two-minute quiz to crack the code on how you give your power away (& how to win it back!)