Overthinking Everything? Here’s How I Found Calm Again

There was a moment a while back that hit me harder than I expected.

Someone I’d grown close to — a friend I genuinely cared about — casually said, “The only people I need in my life are my family.” Now, maybe it was meant to be harmless, but something in me flinched. I responded quickly, almost instinctively: “Oh, and me?”

But the way she brushed it off left me spinning.

My mind went into overdrive. She doesn’t really care. Was our friendship just surface-level? Did I imagine the connection? Should I have said anything at all?

That’s the thing about overthinking — it hijacks your nervous system and holds your self-worth hostage. As a lifelong people pleaser, the lack of instant reassurance sent me straight into a spiral. I replayed the moment over and over again, hoping for a different ending.

But it never came. That friendship eventually faded — and while it hurt, it also became a turning point. I realised that true friendships make space for you. They hold you with care, not confusion. And more importantly, I realised I was tired of living on edge, constantly trying to decode situations, worrying how I was perceived, and letting anxiety lead.

What overthinking feels like (Maybe you can relate)

For me, overthinking doesn’t just stay in my head — it spreads to my body. My shoulders tense. My chest feels tight. I can’t sleep. I get stuck trying to work things out, cycling through every version of what I could have said or done differently.

It’s exhausting. And it’s also incredibly common.

We live in a world that moves at warp speed. We’re constantly connected, constantly performing, constantly comparing. It’s no wonder our minds go into overdrive trying to process it all — and figure out how we fit in.

But there’s a cost.

Overthinking can isolate us from the present. It makes us reactive instead of responsive. It turns up the volume on fear and drowns out our intuition. For me, it’s contributed to low moods, burnout, even moments of depression.

So I had to do something about it.

How I started to calm my overthinking brain

Overthinking is rarely solved by thinking more. It needs different energy — grounded, embodied, slower energy. Here are the practices that helped me reclaim peace and clarity:

1. Reconnect with your body (even when you don’t feel like it)

When your brain is stuck on a loop, your body often freezes. That’s your nervous system kicking into survival mode. The solution? Move.

Whether it’s yin yoga, a walk around the block, or a solo dance party in the kitchen — movement shifts the energy and helps your body remember it’s safe. The hardest part is starting, but once I do, my thoughts begin to soften.

Try this:
Put on your favourite song, turn it up, and dance like no one’s watching. You’ll trick your brain and lift your vibe — fast.

2. Journal to clear the noise

Sometimes we need to give our thoughts a place to land. Journaling has become a safe space for me to process emotions without judgement. It turns the messy noise in my head into words I can see, shape, and understand.

You don’t have to write pages. Just start.

Brain Dump: Write down exactly what is being said in your head. If it sounds like, this is stupid, I don't have anytihng stuck in my head, then this is perfect!! When we first journal we don't often know what to write, I find its best to write what comes to my head first, and it doesn't matter what it looks like. The goal is to clear the head, if you need to go over a situation, write it down, all the bits, who said what, who was there, smells, feelings, sounds the lot. It's not about solving problems its just putting it down how it is, so its now out of your head. 

3. Nourish your nervous system

Meditation. Breathwork. Yin yoga. These aren't just wellness buzzwords — they’re anchors.

Bringing calm to the body gives the mind a place to rest. One of the simplest breathing techniques I use is belly breathing:

Belly Breathing:
Inhale deeply through your nose, letting your belly rise.
Exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your belly fall.
Do this for 2 minutes. It’s like a reset button.

And when my thoughts feel especially heavy, I return to a practice that’s helped my whole household — even my husband in a moment of fainting panic: Legs up the Wall Pose.

Yes, it’s that simple.

Viparita Karani (Legs Up the Wall):
Lie on your back with your legs extended up a wall. Rest your arms by your side. Close your eyes.
Breathe.
This posture activates the parasympathetic nervous system — your “rest and digest” state — and helps bring you down from the edge.

 

 

What truly helped me heal my overthinking: Raising my standards

As I worked to calm my nervous system, I also had to look inward.

Why was I overthinking everything? Why was I so quick to seek validation?

The truth: I had unclear standards around relationships. I tolerated one-sided friendships. I worried too much about being liked, rather than being true to myself. I obsessed over things outside of my control — and it made me feel small.

So I changed my standards. I started focusing on what was in my control:
My boundaries.
My energy.
My effort.
My healing.

That shift has made all the difference.

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You Don’t Have to Think Your Way Out

If you’re someone who spirals into overthinking, I want you to know — you’re not broken. You’re likely sensitive, caring, deeply aware. But you don’t need to carry it all alone.

The thoughts that scream the loudest aren’t always true.
The relationships that leave you anxious aren’t always meant to last.
And the version of you who’s learning to let go? She’s powerful.

So next time your brain is doing backflips trying to find clarity, give it something different instead.
Move.
Write.
Breathe.
Reframe.
And remind yourself that you are already enough.

ONE LAST THING TO TRY TODAY

Don’t overthink this one.
Pick a song you love. Press play.
Dance it out for five minutes.
And when you stop — notice how you feel.

Because joy is the antidote to overthinking.
And you deserve more of it.