Unlearning Worthlessness: A Journey to Receiving with Lauren Swan
Lauren Swan joins me on the Choosing Change podcast this week to share her powerful journey of unlearning feelings of worthlessness and learning to receive kindness, gifts and support from others.
Lauren traces her struggles with receiving back to childhood, where she was taught not to accept gifts or money from her grandmother. This mindset followed her into adulthood, where she found herself in difficult financial situations yet refused help from others, believing she didn't deserve it.
Lauren shares movingly about periods of loneliness, anxiety and feeling "not good enough" as she struggled to find stable work and make ends meet. She reveals how this impacted her self-worth and ability to enjoy life's small pleasures.
A turning point came when Lauren attended a conference organized by me, where I allowed herself to receive accommodation and support without strings attached. This helped her realise receiving can be safe and doesn't diminish others.
Lauren discusses tools like looking at herself through the lens of a loved child self, budgeting for "treats", and accepting gifts graciously. While her journey continues, she's come a long way from spiraling over small acts of kindness.
Lauren's vulnerability provides inspiration for anyone working to overcome ingrained beliefs that they are unworthy. Her story shows how even small shifts in perspective can change our relationship with ourselves and money for the better.
I can’t wait for you to listen to this conversation.
Highlights from this episode:
- Unlearning feelings of unworthiness and believing you deserve good things takes ongoing work and self-reflection.
- Looking at yourself through the lens of how you'd treat a loved one, like a child version of yourself, can help develop self-kindness.
- Small steps like accepting compliments, gifts, or treats from others without guilt can help shift your mindset around receiving.
- Financial anxiety can manifest even when resources are adequate, due to ingrained mindsets of lack.
- Having a "treat budget" can help give permission to enjoy life's little pleasures without guilt or justification.
- Be kind to yourself when setbacks happen - see them as learning opportunities rather than failures.
"I started looking at myself the way I would look at a little version of me… If I would do all this for a little version of me, and I do all this for strangers, why don't I treat myself like little version me?" Lauren Swan
"I was panicking about flowers for our anniversary because in my head I was thinking 'we don't have flower money’ … And then the next day flowers had arrived … but in my head I was like, How dare you do that? … You can't do it. Like why would you do this for me? We don't have our money. And I've just spiralled." Lauren Swan
I've learned that my greatest life lesson is learning to receive." Lauren Swan
Do reach out to us to continue this conversation.
Connect with Lauren
Lauren Hope Swan. Most people hide their middle names but Lauren brings hers to the forefront and tries to make sure every day is full of hope, both in her own life and others.
At the age of two, she started talking and never stopped. Lauren's a communications expert and dedicates her life to conversing with others. Everyone deserves to be seen and heard and she lives by this
Connect with Lizzie
HOST OF THE CHOOSING CHANGE PODCAST
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