This past week I have had a few moments with the kids and myself where we have not been at our best (mini-crisis). Needless to say, I placed this question upon myself ‘should I phone a friend or should I just Google the answers I need?’ It really got me thinking about how we can become so distant and disconnected from our support network by an easy option.
For the past couple of years, I have built a support network for myself, to help me. The help comes in forms of conversation, hugs, advice and babysitting. As a mother who works I need all the help I can get but often the small things that I think I can solve on my own and quickly can become a great way to reconnect with my friends most of which are also mums. Don’t get me wrong the odd Google search is needed sometimes.
Too often I used to just rely on Google to solve my problems, I would research away what could solve this and that. I kept going around in an unhealthy cycle which left me isolated. I didn’t have the courage to discuss topics that we all go through as mothers.
At the moment, I am trying to stop breastfeeding my son. I have had such an ongoing battle with him as he seems to love the boobs. Apparently, it is a boy thing, during the past couple of months, I have been speaking to everyone about how I could do this and what has helped others. My daughter was so easy to ween and I felt like I was struggling and there was nothing left I could do. As I spoke to my girlfriends and other mums, it gave me confidence and new ideas to try.
Another issue is now that I am stopping breastfeeding, I presume I will start my period again soon. My body has almost started punishing me for having babies I have been suffering from cramps and I have lost my appetite – completely! And I love food! Still no periods yet. I wanted to rush to Google to see what that meant. You know, I decided I would get the courage to talk to some other mums about it.
At first, I was nervous talking about periods and the changes I have been seeing in my body post-baby. The friends I called upon were so supportive and helped me overcome some of my fears. I was talking openly about myself as a woman and owning where I was at, all while I was being supported and listened to by my friends.
One of my philosophies as a mother is that we should never feel alone.
I once used Google as a tool for isolation but not anymore. From now on I am going to make the call to a friend, mother or grandmother to talk through a problem. This is such a great way to stay connected and feel secure in the role you play as a mother. You are essentially calling on your tribe to assist you when you need it the most which then gives you all the confidence in the world.
3 Ways to Ditch Google
- Before you go rushing off to google your next mini-crisis ask yourself this question – Could someone I know be able to help me solve this problem?
- Would talking it out with a friend be more beneficial than to waste 30 minutes or more flicking through website after website. You can catch up on life and answer questions in one fabulous phone call.
- Pick-up a book, read and learn some new techniques from something printed. Read through the pages in your favourite comfy chair, out in the sun, park or in bed.
The one thing I want you to take away from this post is that you are not alone! You have people in your life, other mothers, friends, family and experts (doctors, pharmacists, librarians, mentors and natural practitioners) that you can reach out to. And I am sure that most of them are all too willing to help you when you need it the most.
So are you ready to ditch google and phone a friend to help you talk through your next mini-crisis?